Slave Zero X is the worst game I’ve played this year.

As of this writing, I’ve dropped two games during 2024. The first was Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes. My limited experience with it isn’t enough for a review. I’ll get back to it eventually when I want to return to an RPG. The second game was Adventure Academia: The Fractured Continent. That review is available to read. Slave Zero X almost became the third game this year. My stubbornness prevented me from dropping it. But, at what cost? A lot of profanities were shouted and my poor Switch Pro controller was almost chucked. It takes a lot for a game to do that. In a word, this game was awful. Deceptively so. See, the game started off very promising. It remained that way for the first quarter. After that point, cracks on cracks, flaws on flaws, and messes on messes showed collectively.

You can hop into Slave Zero X without any knowledge of the PC/Dreamcast original from 1999. Slave Zero X takes place in Megacity S1-9. Lu Chen, also known as SovKahn, rules atop the biopunk city with an iron fist. Nearly 200 years old, SovKahn has warped and mangled Megacity into his own twisted image, allowing his Five Calamity soldiers to run amok. Beneath the city, warriors called Guardians train daily to one day murder SovKahn. One Guardian is Shou. Disobeying his master’s wishes, Shou assimilates with a defective Slave, which is a type of bioweapon that can merge with human flesh. The defective Slave, marked with an X, becomes Shou’s other half. Two become one as they feed off each other in an effort to finally overthrow SovKahn.

I was pleasantly surprised by the narrative. Whether it was told during gameplay or with traditional dialogue sequences, Shou, SovKahn, the Calamities and other characters came together for a solid tale filled with twists, turns, and some cheesy one-liners. The entire game was voiced. Another surprise was that the game was voiced well with multiple language options. One final thing I want to mention about the story as that Shou has a love interest: Isamu. Isamu was also an elite Guardian, but he’s presumed missing. During the story, there will be flashbacks of the relationship between Shou and Isamu. Needless to say, seeing this representation was refreshing, surprising, and heartwarming.

And while we’re on a high note, it’s also worth mentioning that the game is a stunner. The artwork is creative. The sprites are sleek. The 2.5 backdrops are varied and work well. Sometimes, the animation is buttery smooth; reminiscent of a Neo Geo fighter. The operative word is “sometimes.” My experience playing this on the Nintendo Switch was rough. Gallons of enemies can crowd the screen. You’ve probably already guessed what that means: slowdowns. I’m guessing that other systems handled the overcrowding better than the Switch. It’s a bummer because when the game isn’t slowing down, things look great. All of this backed up by a techno-punk inspired soundtrack that sounds like it was ripped from a glorious arcade cabinet.

Alright. That’s out of the way. Let’s get into the nitty-gritty as to why this game is such disaster. Maybe it’d be better to describe my experience. I started Slave Zero X with Training Mode. The game doesn’t have a good tutorial, so I figured going here would be a good start. It was. I was doing combos that were swift, stylish, and varied. Shou can do light attacks, heavy attacks, jump, double-jump, throw a variety of destructive items called Ordinances, slide, and wall climb. Training mode helped me understand these basics as I beated the snot out of a dummy. However, at least as far as I could tell, Training mode didn’t offer any info on the ins and outs of the Ex Meter and Burst Orb displayed below Shou’s health. I read through the instruction manual, trying to understand how to use it as I continued to train only to become more confused. By that point, I figured I should get into the game proper. Maybe those things would be more apparent in a fight against actual enemies. Side note: after I finished training I let some gamer pals know that “this game freakin’ rocks.”

The Ex Meter is used to slow down time for a quick second mid-combo in order for Shou to extend the count. Think of Guilty Gear and the Cancels/Roman Cancels. It’s like that. It’s also used to enhance regular attacks by quickly pressing the two attack buttons in rapid succession. These two actions reduce the meter. (Attacking enemies and getting hit yourself builds it back up.) Again, think of Guilty Gear. Well, Slave Zero X is not Guilty Gear. Neither of those two actions (combo extension or enhancement) are worth wasting the Ex Meter. Instead, you’re better waiting until the Ex Meter is filled completely and tapping a button to activate Fatal Sync. This way, those enhanced moves are free AND you will regenerate health depending on how much damage you do. The Burst Orb will send all enemies away from Shou. If timed mid-combo, it completely fills the Ex Meter.

So, what does this mean? It means that the best way to play Slave Zero X is to activate Fatal Sync, button mash the hell out of the attack buttons, refill your health, hope that a burst is ready, activate said burst once the meter is emptied, refill the meter, and repeat. Initially, the game didn’t require this process. I was enjoying pulling off elaborate combos that would be powered up or extended. After I finished the first boss, things went south in a blink. Nearly every enemy in this game has the ability to break Shou’s combo with a measly attack. Now, combine that with enemy’s being able to stun-lock and/or air juggle Shou. Then, combine that with up to 20 of them on screen at a time. And, combine that with mid-bosses that have super armor which can’t be broken unless you land some solid hits on them. We’re not done. Combine the above with no way to air dash, funky air recovery, and a useless parry. Finally, toss in some unresponsive controls (possibly a Switch only thing) and you have Slave Zero X in a nutshell.

To put it another way, think of Magaki from King of Fighters XI. As the final opponent, he naturally has a special move that could be classified as “cheap.” Magaki’s special fills the entire screen with pink energy. It’s unavoidable and plummets his opponent’s energy. Once it hits, you have to helplessly watch your fighter get wrecked. That’s a common occurrence in Slave Zero X. I’d have to watch helplessly as Shou was juggled by his enemies. After Shou finally landed after getting the shit kicked out of him, I had to frantically enter Fatal Sync and hope the combos I’ve been doing since the jump was enough to restore his health. This is especially frustrating during mid-boss fights when they’re joined by a seemingly endless group of soldiers. Boss fights have their own issues, but they’re thankfully not as offensive.

“Well, wait a minute there, Kash. Are there any power ups or upgrades?” Indeed, there are. The downside is that they’re expensive. Finishing a level rewards you with currency that can be used for upgrades. By the end of the game, I was still short a ton of money to become fully upgraded. It was another slap in the face. I could either replay a stage multiple times to get enough funds or just grit my teeth and keep going. To add insult to injury, whenever Shou is killed you’re given the option to try again from the last checkpoint, return to the main menu, or go to the shop. But wait – I’m still as poor as I was before I got killed. Why would I go to the shop, game? Oh, and speaking of checkpoints, these have their own issue because some of them don’t activate despite the game telling you they did.

Truth be told, I could continue shit talking this game because there are more issues. But, I don’t feel the need. I’m confident I made my point. I also want to point out that I’m good at video games. I’ve overcome a lot of gaming challenges in my life. Some of those challenges were due to poor game design. Others were due to the game’s being truly tough. Slave Zero X was the former, but it took it to a new level. So, this wasn’t a case of “git gud.” It was a case of a bad game. Something released in 2024 should not be this terrible, messy, janky, and clunky. I think my playtime was in the realm of four hours. It felt longer. I plan on getting rid of the game as soon as the review goes live. In terms of games for the remainder of 2024, there’s nowhere to go but up from here.

Overall, 2.5/10: Props for music. Props for representation. Otherwise, Slave Zero X is the worst game I’ve played all year and one of the worst I’ve played in my life.